I love worship. I love worship at my church. I love how God speaks during worship. I love how He inhabits our praises.
Recently I was worshipping during worship (btw, there are other things you can do during worship besides worship). I was completely focused on God, offering my heart and voice to the one who hears and sees me. When all of a sudden God interrupted my worship. He began a conversation with me about one of the worship leaders. She has an AMAZING voice. But that's not what He was highlighting to me. He pointed out her age. He had me notice that she was in her thirties. Not only was she in her thirties she was single and in her thirties.
I wasn't quite sure where He was headed with this information. I stopped singing. My ear was now tuned to the object of my praise. My emotions were suspended between sorrow for this girl and intrigue as to why God would interrupt my worship to point out her age. I was certain she knew she was single and no longer in her twenties. That's when He said "Anne, there's a bunch of girls out there just like her." In my mind I saw a slew of single women walking around in their thirties with no prospect of marriage on the horizon. Women who have wondered why relationships keep slipping through their fingers. Women who long for marriage but are still searching for that special someone. Women who eat alone at night and struggle to find activities for the weekends only to fall asleep with their tears. I saw multitudes of good solid God fearing, Jesus loving, Holy Spirit walking 30 something women.
I was speechless. I had never given it any thought. At "approaching 50" that is not my world. Besides that, I was a bride at the tender age of 23. Before I could question the Lord about it, He questioned me: "Do you know why they are still single?"
"No, Lord. I don't have a clue as to why your girls are still single."
"I am using their single-hood for my purposes. Would you go tell them please?"
In an instant I was reminded of an old prayer journal I had found just that afternoon. It was written during a very difficult season in my thirties. I was raising four children alone most weeks. My knight in shining armor was traveling the world leaving me alone in my castle sometimes for weeks on end. It was a season of complete brokenness before the Lord. I realized I could either continue down a path of self pity or I could begin a 30-days of blessing list. Each day I made myself write down a blessing I had experienced. Many of those entries from that month said this, "Lord, thank you for so much alone time. I know I wouldn't have grown in my relationship with you if I didn't have so many nights free after putting the kids to bed."
It was then that I understood 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 "I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions." (The Message)
The reminder of my 30 days of blessings coupled with this Scripture caused me to reflect on my own stage in life. With two children far away at college and 2 rather self sufficient teenagers I am finding that I can spend more time concentrating simply on pleasing the Master. I can spend time pursuing The One I love to worship! I don't have as many nuts and bolts of domestic life to manage. Honestly, there's not as many dishes to wash, beds to make and laundry to fold. I can spend time writing a blog post to women in their thirties encouraging them with a message that I believe God wants them to know.
So here's the message in a nice neat 30 second sound bite.
Precious single women:
1) Your singleness has a God given purpose.
2) Discover what God has called you to do then do it with all your heart.
3) Your singleness is a gift to YOU.
4) God IS accomplishing something in you and through you for His greater purpose.
5) This season of life is foundational.
6) HE sees your labor and it is not in vain.
7) Singleness will fulfill it's purpose.
8) He is so proud of you.
9) You are investing The Kingdom into the current culture that surrounds you like no other group can.
10) You are also laying the foundation for the next generation.
So, to all the single ladies out there my charge to you is this: Rise up, link arms, and change the culture for Gods purposes! I may be too old, your married friends may be too busy, but you...you've got what it takes!
I stand and applaud you as I lean over to God and say, "I see what you mean. Those single girls are a powerful force!"
Monday, November 14, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Art and Inmates. An Intersection.
Do you ever wonder how you ended up somewhere? Just the other day I drove across town and realized I had no recollection of how I had arrived at my destination. It happened again while on the phone. It was one of those first time phone conversations. It was an amazing conversation, but when I got off the phone I questioned how I had gotten there. How had I gotten to the place in dialogue where the person on the other end describes 13-17 year old-convicted as adult-lifers, and by the way will you please come to Florida and do art with them? How does that happen?
I never signed up for this. There was no GPS directing me. Yet, here I am. Part of me wants to turn around and run away. Part of me looks to the left and the right straining for a different view.
I wanted to run away when my son was diagnosed with cancer. I longed for a way out. Instead God provided a way through.
When I had four children all under the age of 8 there were days I begged for a different view. Within 24 hours the view would always change.
My baby who was diagnosed with cancer is now an amazing 13 year old.
Which brings me back to the intersection. 13-17 year olds. Convicted as adults. In for life! They're called "Youthful Offenders." 484 of them. In one facility. In Florida. Prison Fellowship wants me to come do an art camp. Or train the people there to do art camps. There's an elderly population in some of the prisons too. Think geriatrics. My brain is having to create files that never existed in my thoughts.
How did I get here? I wasn't even an artist until 7 years ago. Seriously.
I don't teach technique to the inmates. I bring freedom in the form of a brush. I've apologized to a boy who grew up in the midst of watching others shoot up heroin all because he drew hands with huge veins. I walked another through a funeral of sorts. He lost his grandpa when he was 10. His grandpa died of starvation crossing the border. He never got to say goodbye. His life of crime started soon after. He painted a picture of him fishing with his grandpa as a way to let go. He has 2 children. At 17 he is a child. Thankfully he's not in for life.
Art and inmates. An intersection. A journey. I didn't ask for it but I know I've been called to it. Now begins the process of gathering others who have been called to this road. I'm sounding the horn.
You don't have to be an artist.
You don't have to go to prisons.
If you have an ear to hear the Lord and if you believe God can speak through pictures you have all you need. Let me know if you want to enter the highway.
I never signed up for this. There was no GPS directing me. Yet, here I am. Part of me wants to turn around and run away. Part of me looks to the left and the right straining for a different view.
I wanted to run away when my son was diagnosed with cancer. I longed for a way out. Instead God provided a way through.
When I had four children all under the age of 8 there were days I begged for a different view. Within 24 hours the view would always change.
My baby who was diagnosed with cancer is now an amazing 13 year old.
Which brings me back to the intersection. 13-17 year olds. Convicted as adults. In for life! They're called "Youthful Offenders." 484 of them. In one facility. In Florida. Prison Fellowship wants me to come do an art camp. Or train the people there to do art camps. There's an elderly population in some of the prisons too. Think geriatrics. My brain is having to create files that never existed in my thoughts.
How did I get here? I wasn't even an artist until 7 years ago. Seriously.
I don't teach technique to the inmates. I bring freedom in the form of a brush. I've apologized to a boy who grew up in the midst of watching others shoot up heroin all because he drew hands with huge veins. I walked another through a funeral of sorts. He lost his grandpa when he was 10. His grandpa died of starvation crossing the border. He never got to say goodbye. His life of crime started soon after. He painted a picture of him fishing with his grandpa as a way to let go. He has 2 children. At 17 he is a child. Thankfully he's not in for life.
Art and inmates. An intersection. A journey. I didn't ask for it but I know I've been called to it. Now begins the process of gathering others who have been called to this road. I'm sounding the horn.
You don't have to be an artist.
You don't have to go to prisons.
If you have an ear to hear the Lord and if you believe God can speak through pictures you have all you need. Let me know if you want to enter the highway.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
How you interact with God reveals what you think of Him
I found myself crying out to God recently. I was begging Him to "Just answer me and I will do it!" Have you ever done that?
I was backed into a corner and desperately needed an answer. I had little time to wait. I HAD to move forward.
"God, tell me what to do and I will do it!"
There was an urgency to my cry. I needed relief!
"God show me. I will follow."
I've prayed that prayer a million times. Half of the time meeting success. An answer comes. I get a revelation. I have a lightbulb moment. The solution seems clear. I say my thanks and move on in the way I should go.
Not this time though. I never expected the response I got from The Lord.
Me: "Just tell me what to do and I will do it!"
Him: "Anne, why don't you ask me what I think is best for you instead?"
Stunned silence(on my part). Frozen in my tracks. My world (of thinking) just got turned upside down.
That's how the exchange went in my head. BUT, here is how the exchange went in my heart.
Me: "Just tell me what to do(you intimidating dictator) and I will do it(I will obey your command!)"
When He asked me "Why don't you ask me what's best for you" it immediately threw me into the river of His grace. I splashed around in the understanding of the goodness of a God who is passionately for me! I allowed the stream of cleansing to wash away the debris of a polluted thought process of how I viewed God as demanding. As a dictator. As an intimidator. I washed away a part of my past.
I am free!
Would you like to jump in and join me? Just ask Daddy "What's best for me?" That's a question I know He will answer 100% of the time!
He is for you!
Summary:
How you interact with God reveals what you think of Him. For example, do you say to Him: "God, what's best for me" meaning: you are for me and I get to step into Your flow of grace...or Do you say: "just tell me what to do and I will do it!" meaning: You're an intimidating dictator and I will obey your command.
I was backed into a corner and desperately needed an answer. I had little time to wait. I HAD to move forward.
"God, tell me what to do and I will do it!"
There was an urgency to my cry. I needed relief!
"God show me. I will follow."
I've prayed that prayer a million times. Half of the time meeting success. An answer comes. I get a revelation. I have a lightbulb moment. The solution seems clear. I say my thanks and move on in the way I should go.
Not this time though. I never expected the response I got from The Lord.
Me: "Just tell me what to do and I will do it!"
Him: "Anne, why don't you ask me what I think is best for you instead?"
Stunned silence(on my part). Frozen in my tracks. My world (of thinking) just got turned upside down.
That's how the exchange went in my head. BUT, here is how the exchange went in my heart.
Me: "Just tell me what to do(you intimidating dictator) and I will do it(I will obey your command!)"
When He asked me "Why don't you ask me what's best for you" it immediately threw me into the river of His grace. I splashed around in the understanding of the goodness of a God who is passionately for me! I allowed the stream of cleansing to wash away the debris of a polluted thought process of how I viewed God as demanding. As a dictator. As an intimidator. I washed away a part of my past.
I am free!
Would you like to jump in and join me? Just ask Daddy "What's best for me?" That's a question I know He will answer 100% of the time!
He is for you!
Summary:
How you interact with God reveals what you think of Him. For example, do you say to Him: "God, what's best for me" meaning: you are for me and I get to step into Your flow of grace...or Do you say: "just tell me what to do and I will do it!" meaning: You're an intimidating dictator and I will obey your command.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Lessons From My Cell
Words can pierce. Words can inspire. Words can empower.
May you allow the words coming up next in quotations pierce, inspire and empower you today.
“And here is a Scripture from the Bible I like, Jeremiah 29:11, because I know he has a plan for me, in my future to come Amen.”
No? Nothing? What’s so empowering about that? You’ve heard that verse a million times? You don’t really believe it anyway? Your present looks rather bleak so how in the world can your future look any brighter? They’re just words?
Let me wrap context around those words and see if it illuminates anything in your spirit.
“Pen Pal” has never been a burning passion of mine. In fact, I am grateful for the creation of Facebook just so I will connect with people I NEVER would have otherwise. Facebook is a “pen pal” program I can follow. But…actually taking out paper and pen and literally writing something, not to mention addressing, stamping and mailing the thing. So not gonna happen in my world! So not! …Or so I thought.
There is no Facebook in prison.
There are however, many teens in prison. Teens who never hear from another person outside the razor wire. Teens whose parents don’t contact them. Teens hungry for a word from anyone who cares.
I’ve meet several of those teens recently. I interacted with them through an art camp and then followed up with a visit. I couldn’t help myself - I wrote two of them. The old fashioned snail mail way. I sent them each a Scripture that I was praying for them. Then I waited. I waited to see if they would respond. I even gave them a self addressed stamped envelope so they could respond. I used One Heart’s address (www.oneheart.com to find out more) as a return address: not my own.
Within a week I had a response from one of the inmates. It chronicled his desire for prayer. Asking for prayers that he would “live a better positive life” and seeking prayers that “When I get out to knot fall back to my old ways, and to be a better man, and to hope they let me go back to high school.”
What really blew me away was that he sent me a Scripture that he had been thinking about. One he believes in. One that he clings to. Below is his quote:
“And here is a Scripture from the Bible I like, Jeremiah 29:11, because I know he has a plan for me, in my future to come Amen.”
Incarcerated youth saying, “I KNOW He has a plan for me, in my future to come AMEN.”
State issued clothes, institutional food, boundaries determined by razor wire prison inmate saying, “I KNOW He has a plan for me, in my future to come AMEN.”
Let that sink in.
This closet stuffed, gourmet food, plane, train and automobile boundary-less woman needs to let THOSE words pierce, inspire and empower her.
He is freer than many who have never seen a cell. He has hope. He is an inspiration.
How about you? Could you use a new view, a renewed perspective today about your life? Why not follow a future leader and begin with saying the same thing about your life;
“I KNOW He has a plan for me, in my future to come Amen.”
May you allow the words coming up next in quotations pierce, inspire and empower you today.
“And here is a Scripture from the Bible I like, Jeremiah 29:11, because I know he has a plan for me, in my future to come Amen.”
No? Nothing? What’s so empowering about that? You’ve heard that verse a million times? You don’t really believe it anyway? Your present looks rather bleak so how in the world can your future look any brighter? They’re just words?
Let me wrap context around those words and see if it illuminates anything in your spirit.
“Pen Pal” has never been a burning passion of mine. In fact, I am grateful for the creation of Facebook just so I will connect with people I NEVER would have otherwise. Facebook is a “pen pal” program I can follow. But…actually taking out paper and pen and literally writing something, not to mention addressing, stamping and mailing the thing. So not gonna happen in my world! So not! …Or so I thought.
There is no Facebook in prison.
There are however, many teens in prison. Teens who never hear from another person outside the razor wire. Teens whose parents don’t contact them. Teens hungry for a word from anyone who cares.
I’ve meet several of those teens recently. I interacted with them through an art camp and then followed up with a visit. I couldn’t help myself - I wrote two of them. The old fashioned snail mail way. I sent them each a Scripture that I was praying for them. Then I waited. I waited to see if they would respond. I even gave them a self addressed stamped envelope so they could respond. I used One Heart’s address (www.oneheart.com to find out more) as a return address: not my own.
Within a week I had a response from one of the inmates. It chronicled his desire for prayer. Asking for prayers that he would “live a better positive life” and seeking prayers that “When I get out to knot fall back to my old ways, and to be a better man, and to hope they let me go back to high school.”
What really blew me away was that he sent me a Scripture that he had been thinking about. One he believes in. One that he clings to. Below is his quote:
“And here is a Scripture from the Bible I like, Jeremiah 29:11, because I know he has a plan for me, in my future to come Amen.”
Incarcerated youth saying, “I KNOW He has a plan for me, in my future to come AMEN.”
State issued clothes, institutional food, boundaries determined by razor wire prison inmate saying, “I KNOW He has a plan for me, in my future to come AMEN.”
Let that sink in.
This closet stuffed, gourmet food, plane, train and automobile boundary-less woman needs to let THOSE words pierce, inspire and empower her.
He is freer than many who have never seen a cell. He has hope. He is an inspiration.
How about you? Could you use a new view, a renewed perspective today about your life? Why not follow a future leader and begin with saying the same thing about your life;
“I KNOW He has a plan for me, in my future to come Amen.”
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
My Addiction
I have a confession. I have an addiction and I have to go back to prison to fix it. I will be fingerprinted within the week.
My addiction started innocently enough (don’t they all?). I just went into a youth prison to do an art camp. In and out baby! Simple. Done. One time. That’s all I told myself. "I will do this just one time. I can do this just once."
What I didn’t plan on was my friend inviting me to go back and check up on two of the boys that had stood out to me at the art camp. Note to self: Friends can lead you down twisted paths if you’re not careful.
So I went for a second time. One more time can’t hurt anything, right? I’ve got it under control. I can handle this heart of mine. Just one more innocent time. No one will get hooked. I’m fine.
I went.
One of Websters definitions for addiction is, “Compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal.”
I am having well-defined symptoms of withdrawal.
Like the image I can’t shake of leaving the dorm after spending hours sitting on a hard cement floor chatting about…anything…with the boys. The guard came and unlocked the door so we could leave. It locked tight behind us. We got maybe 10 yards away when there was a loud knock on the doors window. We turned around to see one of the boys smiling face waving goodbye.
How do I come clean from THAT?
Sorry, I had to go get a tissue.
I’m shaken… still. Haunted by an image and a very real sound that was directed at me. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK…WAVE…smile…KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK (I’m locked in and can’t get out)…
What do I do with that?
I tried a placebo. Because I like knowing what words really mean, here again is Websters definition. A placebo is “usually a pharmacologically inert preparation prescribed more for the mental relief of the patient than for its actual effect on a disorder.”
So, I wrote a letter. Actually, I wrote 2. If one is good for mental relief isn’t 2 better? I wrote the boys. I shared a Scripture with both. I told them I hoped to come back soon. I encouraged them not to lose hope. I hugged the letters, prayed over them and dropped them at the post office.
I included a self address stamped envelop. Not with my address, but with One Hearts address. I still have this under control. Losing control would be to get too personal, too involved. I can handle this! I’m good.
However, I found myself at training last night. Texas Youth Correctional Volunteer Training. I KNOW. I should have stayed away. I brought another friend with me; she’s willing to do it! It can’t be THAT bad if others are all doing it. I have to go get fingerprinted next. Then I get a badge. Then I can go whenever I want during visiting hours.
See….that’s the issue. I can choose to go alone now. When others join in it’s called social use. But there’s a whole other level when I choose to do this privately. That’s when I know I’ve crossed a line. That’s when I know I am fully addicted to a thing called mentoring.
I find myself mentally figuring out when I can get away for half a day and not be missed by my own family. I’m planning, preparing, devising and plotting.
“Oh God, Help me!!!! This is NOT what I asked for!!!!”
Ssshhhhh…honestly…between you and me, I don’t want to give it up. In fact, I want to dive in more.
The placebo didn’t work.
I’m bringing my addiction into the light.
Wanna join me friend? I’d be happy to show you the way down the twisted road.
My addiction started innocently enough (don’t they all?). I just went into a youth prison to do an art camp. In and out baby! Simple. Done. One time. That’s all I told myself. "I will do this just one time. I can do this just once."
What I didn’t plan on was my friend inviting me to go back and check up on two of the boys that had stood out to me at the art camp. Note to self: Friends can lead you down twisted paths if you’re not careful.
So I went for a second time. One more time can’t hurt anything, right? I’ve got it under control. I can handle this heart of mine. Just one more innocent time. No one will get hooked. I’m fine.
I went.
One of Websters definitions for addiction is, “Compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal.”
I am having well-defined symptoms of withdrawal.
Like the image I can’t shake of leaving the dorm after spending hours sitting on a hard cement floor chatting about…anything…with the boys. The guard came and unlocked the door so we could leave. It locked tight behind us. We got maybe 10 yards away when there was a loud knock on the doors window. We turned around to see one of the boys smiling face waving goodbye.
How do I come clean from THAT?
Sorry, I had to go get a tissue.
I’m shaken… still. Haunted by an image and a very real sound that was directed at me. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK…WAVE…smile…KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK (I’m locked in and can’t get out)…
What do I do with that?
I tried a placebo. Because I like knowing what words really mean, here again is Websters definition. A placebo is “usually a pharmacologically inert preparation prescribed more for the mental relief of the patient than for its actual effect on a disorder.”
So, I wrote a letter. Actually, I wrote 2. If one is good for mental relief isn’t 2 better? I wrote the boys. I shared a Scripture with both. I told them I hoped to come back soon. I encouraged them not to lose hope. I hugged the letters, prayed over them and dropped them at the post office.
I included a self address stamped envelop. Not with my address, but with One Hearts address. I still have this under control. Losing control would be to get too personal, too involved. I can handle this! I’m good.
However, I found myself at training last night. Texas Youth Correctional Volunteer Training. I KNOW. I should have stayed away. I brought another friend with me; she’s willing to do it! It can’t be THAT bad if others are all doing it. I have to go get fingerprinted next. Then I get a badge. Then I can go whenever I want during visiting hours.
See….that’s the issue. I can choose to go alone now. When others join in it’s called social use. But there’s a whole other level when I choose to do this privately. That’s when I know I’ve crossed a line. That’s when I know I am fully addicted to a thing called mentoring.
I find myself mentally figuring out when I can get away for half a day and not be missed by my own family. I’m planning, preparing, devising and plotting.
“Oh God, Help me!!!! This is NOT what I asked for!!!!”
Ssshhhhh…honestly…between you and me, I don’t want to give it up. In fact, I want to dive in more.
The placebo didn’t work.
I’m bringing my addiction into the light.
Wanna join me friend? I’d be happy to show you the way down the twisted road.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Frank
I sat on the hard floor of a rectangular space the prison staff called a “group meeting room” with 4 boys and Cindy who works with One Heart. This “group meeting room” was more prison cell than meeting room. It was surrounded by windows on 3 sides, it was completely bare except for the 2 chairs brought in by the boys and a key was needed to let us into the room…and out of the room.
Cindy and I were privileged to return to the facility where only a week ago I had led an art camp. We went back to check on two of the boys who artistically stood out to me, however, by afternoon through divine appointment, 2 more boys desired to sit on laminate with us. Actually, every boy we saw was hungry to enter the small rectangular cell. You could see it in their eyes. You heard it in their questions when we were released to join them for lunch, although they were not allowed to talk much. You could feel it on their hearts. Hearts void of outside daily contact. Hearts void of hope. Hearts capable of receiving nourishment.
The word nourishment came up. “Frank” jumped on that word. I find that fascinating. Words had been linked together for the better part of the morning but when nourishment was mentioned. Frank immediately stopped the flow of conversation and said, “What’s that? Nourish whatever. What’s that mean?” I could put “The END” right now. THAT statement is powerful. A 17 year old prisoner asking about a word he had never heard and had no idea what it meant. “NOURISHMENT? What does it mean?” He asked. The End.
But I can’t end there. There’s so much more. Frank is an only child I found out. His dad was in prison (the first time or ONE of the times I couldn’t get straight) from Franks early years until he was 9. Somewhere throughout Frank’s life his mom was also in prison. Once or more, I don’t know that either. Are they currently in prison? I don’t know, although it sounded like they were out and still married to each other. I miss a lot in translation. I don’t talk street and he doesn’t talk white mom of the suburbs, not to mention the group meeting room was not created with acoustics in mind. Yet, we understand each other most of the time. The boys understand each other all of the time. There’s never a “What? Huh? Or questioning face during their conversations.” Where communication seems to break down the most between mom and prisoner is when words like “nourishment” are discussed.
Franks inquisitive mind was a bridge to his hungry heart. “Nourishment is like when a baby is born,” I told him, “And that baby needs milk to survive. It would die without nourishment.” I wonder how long Frank has been dead? The word “survival” seemed to bring up money talk. Actually it doesn’t take much to bring up discussions that revolve around money. Money they understand. Money is nourishment to them. Money is survival. It was money that got Frank into a life of drug dealing. He made good money. He nourished himself. He had to.
He looked out one of the windows in the midst of the dicussion and said, “Yeah, I want job that I can go to every day. I don’t know what I’d do, but I want that.” Here’s the moment God spoke to his heart. I replied, “Frank, the only job you’ve known is one where you live with fear every moment. Fear of getting found out. Fear of keeping it secret. Frank, you can have a job where you don’t have to live with fear every day. It may not pay as much but it will certainly be so much better than what you have known all your life.” Frank is riddled with fear. It consumes him. He gets out soon and he is fearful of that. He’s fearful of returning to the place that led him to prison. He acknowledged that it is going to be hard to turn people away that come looking for him. He’s afraid of standing up for himself and telling his “friends” that he doesn’t do that anymore. He doesn’t want to go back. He doesn’t want to stay in prison either. He never wants to return.
What’s going to happen to Frank?
One of the boys that joined us in the afternoon was completely surprised when I said something to Frank. I started the statement with “Frank…” The boy had complete shock on his face and laughed. He turned his attention to Frank and shook his head. I was bewildered with the boy. I looked at him and said, “What? Is his name not Frank?” There was an awkward pause and Charlie, Who I wrote about last time, laughed and explained, “No, that’s his name. It’s just weird to hear you say it. We are only called by our last name.” Frank’s been in for almost a year. Charlie just got there not too long ago. The fourth boy who was with us has been there for THREE YEARS. Three years of not hearing his first name. The fourth boy will be coming to The One Heart Bowl at Grapevine Faith Christian School on Friday, September 9th at 7:30pm as long as he stays out of trouble between now and then. I told him I would be on his sideline looking for him. Cheering for him by his first name. I can’t share his name here, but it’s locked away in my memory. I don’t even know his last name!
I look back at yesterday and I see four infants chained to a cement floor crying out for milk. I honestly don’t know how to process that image. That fact. So instead, I will leave you with an image that Frank drew for me while I was there. I had worn my One Heart T-shirt. Right before we left he said, “Here. Here’s a new One Heart T-shrit design.” It is difficult to see the words ONE on his design. Actually it’s almost impossible especially with the image you have below. Frank wants to be a graphic designer. He’s got the talent. He can learn the skill. Frank has a heart ready for nourishment.
Cindy and I were privileged to return to the facility where only a week ago I had led an art camp. We went back to check on two of the boys who artistically stood out to me, however, by afternoon through divine appointment, 2 more boys desired to sit on laminate with us. Actually, every boy we saw was hungry to enter the small rectangular cell. You could see it in their eyes. You heard it in their questions when we were released to join them for lunch, although they were not allowed to talk much. You could feel it on their hearts. Hearts void of outside daily contact. Hearts void of hope. Hearts capable of receiving nourishment.
The word nourishment came up. “Frank” jumped on that word. I find that fascinating. Words had been linked together for the better part of the morning but when nourishment was mentioned. Frank immediately stopped the flow of conversation and said, “What’s that? Nourish whatever. What’s that mean?” I could put “The END” right now. THAT statement is powerful. A 17 year old prisoner asking about a word he had never heard and had no idea what it meant. “NOURISHMENT? What does it mean?” He asked. The End.
But I can’t end there. There’s so much more. Frank is an only child I found out. His dad was in prison (the first time or ONE of the times I couldn’t get straight) from Franks early years until he was 9. Somewhere throughout Frank’s life his mom was also in prison. Once or more, I don’t know that either. Are they currently in prison? I don’t know, although it sounded like they were out and still married to each other. I miss a lot in translation. I don’t talk street and he doesn’t talk white mom of the suburbs, not to mention the group meeting room was not created with acoustics in mind. Yet, we understand each other most of the time. The boys understand each other all of the time. There’s never a “What? Huh? Or questioning face during their conversations.” Where communication seems to break down the most between mom and prisoner is when words like “nourishment” are discussed.
Franks inquisitive mind was a bridge to his hungry heart. “Nourishment is like when a baby is born,” I told him, “And that baby needs milk to survive. It would die without nourishment.” I wonder how long Frank has been dead? The word “survival” seemed to bring up money talk. Actually it doesn’t take much to bring up discussions that revolve around money. Money they understand. Money is nourishment to them. Money is survival. It was money that got Frank into a life of drug dealing. He made good money. He nourished himself. He had to.
He looked out one of the windows in the midst of the dicussion and said, “Yeah, I want job that I can go to every day. I don’t know what I’d do, but I want that.” Here’s the moment God spoke to his heart. I replied, “Frank, the only job you’ve known is one where you live with fear every moment. Fear of getting found out. Fear of keeping it secret. Frank, you can have a job where you don’t have to live with fear every day. It may not pay as much but it will certainly be so much better than what you have known all your life.” Frank is riddled with fear. It consumes him. He gets out soon and he is fearful of that. He’s fearful of returning to the place that led him to prison. He acknowledged that it is going to be hard to turn people away that come looking for him. He’s afraid of standing up for himself and telling his “friends” that he doesn’t do that anymore. He doesn’t want to go back. He doesn’t want to stay in prison either. He never wants to return.
What’s going to happen to Frank?
One of the boys that joined us in the afternoon was completely surprised when I said something to Frank. I started the statement with “Frank…” The boy had complete shock on his face and laughed. He turned his attention to Frank and shook his head. I was bewildered with the boy. I looked at him and said, “What? Is his name not Frank?” There was an awkward pause and Charlie, Who I wrote about last time, laughed and explained, “No, that’s his name. It’s just weird to hear you say it. We are only called by our last name.” Frank’s been in for almost a year. Charlie just got there not too long ago. The fourth boy who was with us has been there for THREE YEARS. Three years of not hearing his first name. The fourth boy will be coming to The One Heart Bowl at Grapevine Faith Christian School on Friday, September 9th at 7:30pm as long as he stays out of trouble between now and then. I told him I would be on his sideline looking for him. Cheering for him by his first name. I can’t share his name here, but it’s locked away in my memory. I don’t even know his last name!
I look back at yesterday and I see four infants chained to a cement floor crying out for milk. I honestly don’t know how to process that image. That fact. So instead, I will leave you with an image that Frank drew for me while I was there. I had worn my One Heart T-shirt. Right before we left he said, “Here. Here’s a new One Heart T-shrit design.” It is difficult to see the words ONE on his design. Actually it’s almost impossible especially with the image you have below. Frank wants to be a graphic designer. He’s got the talent. He can learn the skill. Frank has a heart ready for nourishment.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
"Charlie"
"You may be behind bars but your imagination is free to go anywhere" was one of the statements that flew out of my mouth to the group of 7 inmates that had been chosen for the first One Heart Art Camp.
It's been a week since I was locked up. But it’s also been a week since my body's been free to roam. What I find is that my mind has chosen to return to a place of incarceration. My thoughts return to the boy pictured above. I'll call him "Charlie". His face is not free for viewing due to jailhouse rules. So, I will protect his name as well.
Charlie walked in with the other boys. All dressed the same. All had turned their clothes inside out in case paint got on them (good thing cuz it did). Their eyes delighted not at the art supplies, but at the food supplies we brought. Candy bars, beef jerky, crackers, ho ho's, granola bars, oatmeal pies and fruit were freely passed around. Surprisingly they loved the fruit. Food seemed to immediately break down a few barriers. I wonder if that's why Jesus ate with people.
As they settled in they were asked to doodle. "Draw anything," I said. My voice was immediately overpowered with a correctional officer boldly proclaiming "Except gang related stuff!" And so, I began again. "Draw anything as long as it's not gang related. That's not allowed here." Charlie started drawing diamonds in the corner of his paper. He never ventured off the corner of his paper for the first 30-45 minutes. It was apparent that he was bound. Not physically. Creatively. Bound. Afraid to move off the edge. Constrained to the outer limits. What was he afraid of?
He began to look at some of the magazines and books we brought with us. He was drawn to texture in the pictures. Color. Abstract objects. Those were my first clues that he might be the one. I asked him if he wanted to paint on one of the big wooden boards we brought with us as canvases. His eyes got big. He couldn't believe he had been given permission to do such a thing even though I had told the group at the beginning that they could choose boards to paint on. So began an exploration so vast that barbed wired melted away and freedom began.
This blog is not the place to describe the technical process of artistry between teacher and student. I really don't know which one of us was the teacher anyway. What I do want to share is the moment of transfiguration. The moment God broke through and radiated out of this boy/man/artist/prisoner.
He struggled with the paint. He had only chosen two colors to work with. Black and light green. He looked up and said, "I want the black to be more over the green, but the green keeps getting back on top more." That's where God broke through. "You know what, Charlie? I think YOU are the green paint. I believe God says 'YOU are a leader'. Charlie, there's no reason for you to be here in prison and I never want to see you here again. You've been given a second chance." Charlie hung his head and wiped his hand across his face. (If he weren't in front of 6 other inmates I believe he would have broken down and cried.) Then he looked back up at me nodding his head and said, "Yes, Ma'am.” I believe in that moment Charlie’s spirit rose up and drew a line in the sand that said, “I will no longer fear the leader in me.”
Some behavioral issues have been going on at the facility since we have left, but Charlie hasn't been involved in the uprising. The earliest he can be released is April. However, the leader in Charlie has already been released. In fact, his art work will be exhibited with great honor in my upcoming exhibit in Fort Worth, called "Bound To Breakthrough". There's even a miracle of a chance Charlie will be able to attend the artist reception with a correctional officer. Please pray he can join me there.
I don't know what all Charlie needs when he gets released but I do know that he needs artistic opportunities. He IS an artist!!!! HE IS!!!! He is raw in his art. He doesn't know he's an artist. He didn’t know he was a leader either. The challenge is hoping/praying he doesn't define who he is by the bars that surround him or the past that got him there.
If you would like to see his artwork and perhaps get a chance to talk to this amazing young man, come to the Fort Worth Community Arts Center 1300 Gendy Street Fort Worth, Texas 76107 for the artist reception Friday, October 7th 7pm-9pm. Even better, come buy his artwork. The money he receives will help him start a new life outside prison walls. Charlie is worth the investment.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
The Prison Came To Me
This week I am going to prison. I never expected to end up there. It wasn't on my bucket list. It has never been a dream or desire in my heart. I never aspired to have bars close and lock behind me. Yet, in less than seven days the sound will be unmistakable.
Remarkably I have no fear.
My journey to prison started three years ago. It began when the prison came to me.
If you don’t know that part of the story, here’s a quick look back. Grapevine Faith Christian School’s football team was scheduled to play Gainesville State Correctional Facility, a maximum security youth prison in Texas. My two oldest boys were football players on the Grapevine Faith team. Their coach sent out an email asking parents to form a spirit line on the Gainesville side and then stay on that side and cheer, by name, for the boys from the prison. Faith families are a bit sold out when ideas like this come around, couple that with Texas football and you’ve got the makings of something revolutionary. Revolutionary it was.
That football game birthed the annual One Heart Bowl; a book, Remember Why You Play by David Thomas; a movie, www.oneheartmovie.com; a project, The One Heart Project; and for me, The One Heart Art Camp.
The first One Heart Art Camp is in less than five days. In less than a week, I will be in prison surrounded by teenage boys who no longer know freedom. Did they ever?
People have said that I am a remarkable person and that I am doing a good thing by going into the prison to offer this camp. I don’t know how to respond to those comments. You see, the spark that ignited me is “discovery”. As an artist, discovery is the bow which propels the arrow to hit its mark. Without the passion to discover, nothing would be created. Canvases would remain empty. Sculptures would be void of form. I am not approaching the prison camp due to a moral obligation to society or even from the place of thinking I have something to offer. I go because I get to discover.
My goal is clear. Search for the next One Heart Artist. Once found, display his artwork in my upcoming October exhibit in Fort Worth called “Bound to Breakthrough”. The End!
AAAHHHH, but the thing about discovery is it usually leads to more discoveries. The things that aren’t so clear propel me to the prison as well. Things such as, will the boys in the camp open themselves up as they progress from doodling with pencil to exploring with paint? Will they soften for a time so the Spirit of the living God can fall fresh upon them as I share how That Spirit has transformed me? Will they give their lives to a new Lord of their life named Jesus?
There are other things that await an unveiling. Such as, if I do find The One Heart Artist and I put his artwork in the exhibit and it sells, can I set up a fund for him as seed money for when he gets out of prison? Will I find more than ONE artist? Will one art camp and one exhibit really inspire him/them once he/they are out of prison to start a new canvas of life? Will others be inspired to start their own One Heart Art Camp for their local prison? Will I go back and do another camp?
There’s a tension in working with these boys- at least for me there is. During the One Heart Bowl last year at Grapevine Faith Christian School, I was priviledged to serve the boys a meal. There weren’t bars surrounding them although the guards were very present. The boys parents weren’t anywhere around nor would they be although there were parents surrounding them in the kitchen and would be cheering them on later on the field. I talked with the boys. I put my hand on their shoulders. I refreshed their drinks. I answered questions they asked about my son who they would be playing against shortly. I told them I would be cheering for them tonight. I realized they were just like any other boy in need of a loving mom and dad, but something happened the minute I let down MY guard. The iron bars of my heart went in lock down mode. It was so loud it jolted me to attention and I withdrew my presence from among them. I was reminded of THEIR prison. My internal turf war raged: Love vs remembering what they had done. I really didn’t know what they had done but I knew it was bad if they were in a maximum security prison. I lost the battle that night. I withdrew my love based on their past actions. I don’t want to lose again. I want love to win and so I go to prison to discover this about myself as well.
I know I would not have had the courage to go to prison if the prison hadn’t first come to me. I know I wouldn’t explore the inside of barbed wire fences if the fence wasn’t first removed by inmates playing football on my turf. The teenagers might live behind bars, but I have my own bars I bring with me. I want out of prison. That's one of the reasons why I choose to go to prison. Pray for me as I discover how to love unconditionally.
Stay Tuned.
Remarkably I have no fear.
My journey to prison started three years ago. It began when the prison came to me.
If you don’t know that part of the story, here’s a quick look back. Grapevine Faith Christian School’s football team was scheduled to play Gainesville State Correctional Facility, a maximum security youth prison in Texas. My two oldest boys were football players on the Grapevine Faith team. Their coach sent out an email asking parents to form a spirit line on the Gainesville side and then stay on that side and cheer, by name, for the boys from the prison. Faith families are a bit sold out when ideas like this come around, couple that with Texas football and you’ve got the makings of something revolutionary. Revolutionary it was.
That football game birthed the annual One Heart Bowl; a book, Remember Why You Play by David Thomas; a movie, www.oneheartmovie.com; a project, The One Heart Project; and for me, The One Heart Art Camp.
The first One Heart Art Camp is in less than five days. In less than a week, I will be in prison surrounded by teenage boys who no longer know freedom. Did they ever?
People have said that I am a remarkable person and that I am doing a good thing by going into the prison to offer this camp. I don’t know how to respond to those comments. You see, the spark that ignited me is “discovery”. As an artist, discovery is the bow which propels the arrow to hit its mark. Without the passion to discover, nothing would be created. Canvases would remain empty. Sculptures would be void of form. I am not approaching the prison camp due to a moral obligation to society or even from the place of thinking I have something to offer. I go because I get to discover.
My goal is clear. Search for the next One Heart Artist. Once found, display his artwork in my upcoming October exhibit in Fort Worth called “Bound to Breakthrough”. The End!
AAAHHHH, but the thing about discovery is it usually leads to more discoveries. The things that aren’t so clear propel me to the prison as well. Things such as, will the boys in the camp open themselves up as they progress from doodling with pencil to exploring with paint? Will they soften for a time so the Spirit of the living God can fall fresh upon them as I share how That Spirit has transformed me? Will they give their lives to a new Lord of their life named Jesus?
There are other things that await an unveiling. Such as, if I do find The One Heart Artist and I put his artwork in the exhibit and it sells, can I set up a fund for him as seed money for when he gets out of prison? Will I find more than ONE artist? Will one art camp and one exhibit really inspire him/them once he/they are out of prison to start a new canvas of life? Will others be inspired to start their own One Heart Art Camp for their local prison? Will I go back and do another camp?
There’s a tension in working with these boys- at least for me there is. During the One Heart Bowl last year at Grapevine Faith Christian School, I was priviledged to serve the boys a meal. There weren’t bars surrounding them although the guards were very present. The boys parents weren’t anywhere around nor would they be although there were parents surrounding them in the kitchen and would be cheering them on later on the field. I talked with the boys. I put my hand on their shoulders. I refreshed their drinks. I answered questions they asked about my son who they would be playing against shortly. I told them I would be cheering for them tonight. I realized they were just like any other boy in need of a loving mom and dad, but something happened the minute I let down MY guard. The iron bars of my heart went in lock down mode. It was so loud it jolted me to attention and I withdrew my presence from among them. I was reminded of THEIR prison. My internal turf war raged: Love vs remembering what they had done. I really didn’t know what they had done but I knew it was bad if they were in a maximum security prison. I lost the battle that night. I withdrew my love based on their past actions. I don’t want to lose again. I want love to win and so I go to prison to discover this about myself as well.
I know I would not have had the courage to go to prison if the prison hadn’t first come to me. I know I wouldn’t explore the inside of barbed wire fences if the fence wasn’t first removed by inmates playing football on my turf. The teenagers might live behind bars, but I have my own bars I bring with me. I want out of prison. That's one of the reasons why I choose to go to prison. Pray for me as I discover how to love unconditionally.
Stay Tuned.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
The Invitation
You've been invited into a mystery. The mystery of partnering with someone who is a master of what you were created to do. It's much like a parent inviting a toddler to participate in planting flowers or sweeping the floor or changing a tire or building a treehouse. The toddler is thrilled with the invitation because they want to be in the parents presence. They want to be where the parent is. They want to help create whatever delights the parent. Partnership is formed. Partnership implies mutual interest, joint participation, collaboration. Imagine that. God desires to collaborate with YOU! Where is He inviting you to collaborate? Whatever the joint venture, His presence is there waiting for you, calling you, desiring YOUR presence. Just reach out your hand and receive the tool The Master offers. Join the mystery. This is the invitation.
Monday, May 02, 2011
Streaming Waters based on selected verses in Isaiah 43 & 44
God is doing a new thing! It springs up into my spirit, like new blades of plush grass breaking forth through the soil. I can see it. He has made a way in the dry and dusty desert. Look! Over there! Those are STREAMS! STREAMS in the wasteland. Streams water this newly formed grass. It seeps into my spirit. 43:19. Oh thank you Lord for pouring out the streams on this thirsty land and gushing water on this dry ground. In the same way you pour out your Spirit on your children. As water pours forth and is not held back, so you pour... and pour... and pour... your Spirit out of heaven over us. What a blessing water is to thirsty ground. What a blessing your Spirit bestows. 44:3 I belong to you. I am Jacob. I will write, "The Lord's" on my hand for all to see. I accept your name. 44:5
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Resurrecting Powerless Praise
Praise has seen me through many trials. It carried me through a child's cancer. It ministered to me through several cross country moves. It even fought battles I never thought I'd win. Yet, I find myself with a drawn but downcast sword. I try to praise, but it seems empty. I step into obedience and words tumble out of my mouth, but they have no power. I stand in the middle of a battlefield without a voice. Silence echoes through the land.
Just as I give up hope, a gentle breeze blows across my face. With the breath something in my spirit rises! Gratefulness bursts forth and tumbles onto my path. A glimmer of hope dances across my sword. I pick up a handful of dust and give thanks for the place in which I stand. My praise is still powerless, but gratefulness may be the key to unleashing a mighty resurrection. A new strategy emerges. Gratitude begins to take hold. This is where I can rest. All of a sudden I see that I am standing on Holy ground.
Just as I give up hope, a gentle breeze blows across my face. With the breath something in my spirit rises! Gratefulness bursts forth and tumbles onto my path. A glimmer of hope dances across my sword. I pick up a handful of dust and give thanks for the place in which I stand. My praise is still powerless, but gratefulness may be the key to unleashing a mighty resurrection. A new strategy emerges. Gratitude begins to take hold. This is where I can rest. All of a sudden I see that I am standing on Holy ground.
Friday, January 22, 2010
My Passion
I LOVE to make women cry! Proverbs 25:11 says, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” And Proverbs 15:23 says, “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply- how good is a timely word!” Finally, Isaiah 50:4 says, “The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.” You see an apt word is a powerful thing! It has the power to bring life, healing, restoration, repentance, and relief! An apt word can make women cry!
The only way to have that apt word is through having an ear tuned to the Sovereign Lord! When my ear is tuned closely with Him all I have to do is listen and speak, listen and speak, listen and speak. When I am listening, I am in His presence, when I speak what I hear I bring others into HIS presence! Being in HIS presence makes women cry!
God is a redemptive God! He redeems everything! I believe God has redeemed the apple! In the Garden it was THE thing that led to death. In Proverbs it’s THE thing that leads to life. The apple is no longer associated with decay. It is now golden!
We were told last week that as you move up in leadership you may have to give away the thing you love to do. I don’t want to give up making women cry. That is something I want to cling to, but if giving it away mulitiplies life then I am willing to surrender my apple of gold to you! So ladies, lift up your hands. “Lord, here are your women! It is an honor to place apples of gold in settings of silver into their hands. May their ears be so tuned to you that out of their mouths spill apt words! May they go out into the world and make women cry because they have brought your presence to them! Amen.”
Os Guiness shares a story of someone who wrote out their epithat while still fully living. I have done the same. I want mine to say, “In life she made me cry: In death, I’m rejoicing!” Either way, it epitomizes being in the Lords presence!
The only way to have that apt word is through having an ear tuned to the Sovereign Lord! When my ear is tuned closely with Him all I have to do is listen and speak, listen and speak, listen and speak. When I am listening, I am in His presence, when I speak what I hear I bring others into HIS presence! Being in HIS presence makes women cry!
God is a redemptive God! He redeems everything! I believe God has redeemed the apple! In the Garden it was THE thing that led to death. In Proverbs it’s THE thing that leads to life. The apple is no longer associated with decay. It is now golden!
We were told last week that as you move up in leadership you may have to give away the thing you love to do. I don’t want to give up making women cry. That is something I want to cling to, but if giving it away mulitiplies life then I am willing to surrender my apple of gold to you! So ladies, lift up your hands. “Lord, here are your women! It is an honor to place apples of gold in settings of silver into their hands. May their ears be so tuned to you that out of their mouths spill apt words! May they go out into the world and make women cry because they have brought your presence to them! Amen.”
Os Guiness shares a story of someone who wrote out their epithat while still fully living. I have done the same. I want mine to say, “In life she made me cry: In death, I’m rejoicing!” Either way, it epitomizes being in the Lords presence!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
"You've Got To Want It!"
Those words out of the mouth of a 5 time Olympian to my student athlete are still resonating within me two days later! "YOU'VE GOT TO WANT IT!" Those are wise words for more than athletes. Paul, from the Bible says we should all train as an athlete running for the prize!
What the Olympian said in my home on Christmas Eve is lifting my eyes to the horizon of New Years Eve. They are asking ME "What do you want that badly this coming year?"
The answer my heart gives is that I want more of the Lord in my life! I want to hear HIM more, I want to experience HIM more, and I want to be more like HIM!
Our church suggested that we corporately begin the New Year with a 21 day fast. Fast from whatever the Lord tells us to fast from, while reminding us that as we deny ourselves from something we also devote ourselves to something. This sounds a lot like training to me: twenty-one days of intensive focus for wanting something! Some want financial freedom, some want healthier eating habits, while others want healing and restoration in relationships.
What do YOU want?
I know how I will spend my 21 days of training for the New Year! I am denying myself sleep and devoting myself to being in the Lords presence each morning! I have to train myself to set my alarm much earlier than I ever would, however I am anticipating more of the Lord than I normally would receive without the training!
How will you begin your New Year?
Why not allow the wisdom of an Olympian who continues to train athletes for their moment of receiving their reward to resonate? You've just got to want it!
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” 1 Corinthians 9:4-24-25
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1
What the Olympian said in my home on Christmas Eve is lifting my eyes to the horizon of New Years Eve. They are asking ME "What do you want that badly this coming year?"
The answer my heart gives is that I want more of the Lord in my life! I want to hear HIM more, I want to experience HIM more, and I want to be more like HIM!
Our church suggested that we corporately begin the New Year with a 21 day fast. Fast from whatever the Lord tells us to fast from, while reminding us that as we deny ourselves from something we also devote ourselves to something. This sounds a lot like training to me: twenty-one days of intensive focus for wanting something! Some want financial freedom, some want healthier eating habits, while others want healing and restoration in relationships.
What do YOU want?
I know how I will spend my 21 days of training for the New Year! I am denying myself sleep and devoting myself to being in the Lords presence each morning! I have to train myself to set my alarm much earlier than I ever would, however I am anticipating more of the Lord than I normally would receive without the training!
How will you begin your New Year?
Why not allow the wisdom of an Olympian who continues to train athletes for their moment of receiving their reward to resonate? You've just got to want it!
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” 1 Corinthians 9:4-24-25
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Painting with Fire
So this one is for my teen girls out there! Those that love all things art...and those that I love! Have I told you how much you mean to me? It's so fun bowing before the Lord with you!
I painted with fire last week. It was AWESOME! The fire brought out the pattern of the wood. Without the fire the wood just looked like boring wood. But then the torch touched the surface and all of a sudden COLOR APPEARED!!! It was brown color and so beautiful. It had varying hues of brown. The colored DANCED! REALLY! It travelled in one direction of wood grain and then all of a sudden there was a twist in the grain and the color moved abruptly following the twist.
What are you following? Are you just going down the path not really making your own decisions? Are you following someone elses decision for you? It's ok to follow someone elses decision as long as it doesn't go against what the Lord is wanting you to do. But what is The Lord wanting YOU to do? Are you asking HIM? Are you allowing yourself to be the grain of wood that the fire of the Lord can travel down?
I've been thinking a lot about my own life and decision making. It's funny, but there have been several very difficult decisions I've had to make in the last several years where others have misinterpreted the motive behind my decision. That didn't feel good! Recently, the Lord has been showing me that my heart intentions were pure. That I didn't base my decision on someone else, or in anger, or on some faulty foundation. But I had made my decision based upon conviction from the Lord. HE is trying to show me that decisions based upon Godly conviction honors HIM! And you know what? Honoring and worshiping The King of Kings is really all I ever want to do!!!!
How about you? You want to honor The King with me? Then start making your decisions based upon Godly convictions! You may not always please people with your decision...but you will definitely please the Lord!
I love you girl and I'm praying for you! oh...btw...please don't paint with fire without your parents permission. In fact, let's just do that in art class...k?
I painted with fire last week. It was AWESOME! The fire brought out the pattern of the wood. Without the fire the wood just looked like boring wood. But then the torch touched the surface and all of a sudden COLOR APPEARED!!! It was brown color and so beautiful. It had varying hues of brown. The colored DANCED! REALLY! It travelled in one direction of wood grain and then all of a sudden there was a twist in the grain and the color moved abruptly following the twist.
What are you following? Are you just going down the path not really making your own decisions? Are you following someone elses decision for you? It's ok to follow someone elses decision as long as it doesn't go against what the Lord is wanting you to do. But what is The Lord wanting YOU to do? Are you asking HIM? Are you allowing yourself to be the grain of wood that the fire of the Lord can travel down?
I've been thinking a lot about my own life and decision making. It's funny, but there have been several very difficult decisions I've had to make in the last several years where others have misinterpreted the motive behind my decision. That didn't feel good! Recently, the Lord has been showing me that my heart intentions were pure. That I didn't base my decision on someone else, or in anger, or on some faulty foundation. But I had made my decision based upon conviction from the Lord. HE is trying to show me that decisions based upon Godly conviction honors HIM! And you know what? Honoring and worshiping The King of Kings is really all I ever want to do!!!!
How about you? You want to honor The King with me? Then start making your decisions based upon Godly convictions! You may not always please people with your decision...but you will definitely please the Lord!
I love you girl and I'm praying for you! oh...btw...please don't paint with fire without your parents permission. In fact, let's just do that in art class...k?
Monday, October 13, 2008
Performance Painting
Hey, if you want a moment to worship then go to this link and sit back and enjoy being in the Lord's presence! I loved being in His presence as I painted! Have an awesome day!
HERE'S THE LINK:
http://vimeo.com/1797430
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Disappointment is not Devastation
When your eyes are set fully on the hope of Christ, disappointment does not bring forth devastation. It is only when you have set your hopes in something OTHER than Christ that disappointment can turn to devastation.
For example, let's say you have an amazing idea that you want to pitch to someone. You're sure the Lord is behind it, you have clarity and enthusiasm! You pitch your idea and the idea is met with a door slammed in your face.
Now comes the moment of truth! You come home completely disappointed, yet, you still believe in the call you heard The Lord give you. The closed door does not steal your belief in moving forward with your idea, it only alters the direction. You find you are not devastated. That's because your hope is set fully in Christ...not in the idea or in the person slamming the door. You continue to move forward seeking the face of God and the new opportunity He is bound to place before you! You continue on in faith...believing in what you can't see!
Keep marching, Sweet Warrior! Never give up what God has placed within!
For example, let's say you have an amazing idea that you want to pitch to someone. You're sure the Lord is behind it, you have clarity and enthusiasm! You pitch your idea and the idea is met with a door slammed in your face.
Now comes the moment of truth! You come home completely disappointed, yet, you still believe in the call you heard The Lord give you. The closed door does not steal your belief in moving forward with your idea, it only alters the direction. You find you are not devastated. That's because your hope is set fully in Christ...not in the idea or in the person slamming the door. You continue to move forward seeking the face of God and the new opportunity He is bound to place before you! You continue on in faith...believing in what you can't see!
Keep marching, Sweet Warrior! Never give up what God has placed within!
Friday, July 25, 2008
My Fathers Voice
I reached for my Daily Bible this morning and said to the Lord, "I want to hear from you today, Lord. I need to hear you!!! I long to hear you!!!!!"
I opened to today's date to see what The Lord wanted to share!
As the pages fell open, right smack in the middle of today's reading was a sticky note from my Dad! It said, "God loves you and so do Mom and me! Love, Dad"
The note was dated a year ago. He snuck it into my Bible reading knowing that I would find it a year later.
"Thank you Lord, for the gift of hearing my earthly fathers voice! He allowed me to hear YOUR voice! YOU love me and so does my Dad!"
*Note to any reader of this blog: my Dad lives thousands of miles away which made it even sweeter to find his note this morning!
I opened to today's date to see what The Lord wanted to share!
As the pages fell open, right smack in the middle of today's reading was a sticky note from my Dad! It said, "God loves you and so do Mom and me! Love, Dad"
The note was dated a year ago. He snuck it into my Bible reading knowing that I would find it a year later.
"Thank you Lord, for the gift of hearing my earthly fathers voice! He allowed me to hear YOUR voice! YOU love me and so does my Dad!"
*Note to any reader of this blog: my Dad lives thousands of miles away which made it even sweeter to find his note this morning!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Immediate Answer!
I was reading the story of Elijah and Ahab today and I noticed something I had never thought about. It was the part where Elijah challenges Ahab's prophets to a duel: 400 prophets danced for fire to rain down on their sacrifice all day verses 1 man of God (Elijah) calling upon the Lord for fire to burn the sacrifice. Something struck me as Elijah prayed to God. God immediately answered Elijah's prayer! God burned up the sacrifice plus the wood plus the water that had been poured upon the whole thing. God exceedingly abundantly answered Elijah's prayer IMMEDIATELY when he asked! If you keep reading that passage, you'll see the very next thing Elijah does is to pray for rain! Due to the overwhelming response of God Elijah had just experienced, I would expect that praying for rain would be just as easy, if not easier, than praying for fire to fall from the sky. That's not the case. Scripture says that Elijah prayed for a while. He sent his servant to look for a rain cloud 7 times! This time Elijah's prayer was not answered immediately! It was the same Elijah praying and the same God he prayed to, yet, God chose not to answer immediately!
Has that ever happened to you? One day you see God move in amazing ways as he answers your prayers and other days you're left waiting wondering if He hears you at all. This is the very place where I have been struggling. This passage reminds me to praise the Lord when He answers my prayers immediately and to remain faithful when my prayers seem to go unanswered.
Think of one of your prayers which seems to have gone unanswered but you're still praying anyway. Remind yourself that the servant was asked to look in the distance for any sign of rain. Seven times he did not see anything, BUT Elijah kept on praying in faith! So keep praying you never know when God will bring your answer to the horizon, "even if it looks as small as a mans hand!" Get up and rejoice! Showers of blessing are just ahead!
Has that ever happened to you? One day you see God move in amazing ways as he answers your prayers and other days you're left waiting wondering if He hears you at all. This is the very place where I have been struggling. This passage reminds me to praise the Lord when He answers my prayers immediately and to remain faithful when my prayers seem to go unanswered.
Think of one of your prayers which seems to have gone unanswered but you're still praying anyway. Remind yourself that the servant was asked to look in the distance for any sign of rain. Seven times he did not see anything, BUT Elijah kept on praying in faith! So keep praying you never know when God will bring your answer to the horizon, "even if it looks as small as a mans hand!" Get up and rejoice! Showers of blessing are just ahead!
Thursday, June 05, 2008
His Pasture!
"Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his;
We are his people, the sheep of his pasture." Psalm 100:3
Think on this!!! We are the sheep of HIS pasture!!!!! We are in God's pasture!!! We are not in the pasture of the enemy!!!! We are in HIS pasture!!!!! There are fences around it...boundaries around it...HE rules it....HE has authority over it and HE is the gate keeper!!!!! Let's dance in HIS pasture today!!!! There is no fear in this pasture!!!!! Love abounds here instead!!!!
Anyone want to roll down the hill with me into the meadow next to the quiet waters?
We are his people, the sheep of his pasture." Psalm 100:3
Think on this!!! We are the sheep of HIS pasture!!!!! We are in God's pasture!!! We are not in the pasture of the enemy!!!! We are in HIS pasture!!!!! There are fences around it...boundaries around it...HE rules it....HE has authority over it and HE is the gate keeper!!!!! Let's dance in HIS pasture today!!!! There is no fear in this pasture!!!!! Love abounds here instead!!!!
Anyone want to roll down the hill with me into the meadow next to the quiet waters?
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Here's a thought to meditate on!
It is out of the relationship with Jesus that everything else flows!
I have recently been reminded of this as I have had to look at the pride that was causing my heart to be hardened! My heart was hardened to the relational aspect of living life with Jesus moment to moment!
That's all...just something to ponder!!! Is your relationship with Jesus intimate and tender?
I have recently been reminded of this as I have had to look at the pride that was causing my heart to be hardened! My heart was hardened to the relational aspect of living life with Jesus moment to moment!
That's all...just something to ponder!!! Is your relationship with Jesus intimate and tender?
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